On the first page of the diary, there is an inscription which
reads: "This diary is given by Yoko." I have received many
presents from friends, but the diary Yoko gave me has special
meaning. The cover of the diary has a picture of pink roses. I
first met Yoko at a continuation school for Japanese students in
New York, when I was thirteen years old. She was the first friend
I made at the school. We were always together, ice skating,
shopping in New York City, and singing Karaoke. We were best
friends. The diary given by Yoko teaches me that friends are
forever, and this memory will not disappear.
I thought she would consult with me about everything, but she
never told me that she had an inferiority complex about her
weight. Her staying in America caused that complex because
American girls have thin legs. Perhaps she wanted to be like
others in order to make friends in this strange place. When I
noticed her change, she was already so thin and I knew that my
advice would not help her. I told her mother about her change,
and she even hadn't noticed. I asked Yoko to talk about it, but
she said she was fine and she never talked over her problem with
me. I knew that she was an anorexic. I thought that at first, she
wanted to be thin and she had tried not to eat any food.
However, at that time when I realized her change, she couldn't
eat food at all. It was painful for me to see her body. Her hands
were getting wrinkled like an old woman's and her legs were
getting to be only bones. I wanted to do something for her but
the time had passed, and the time I had to leave New York came. I
was angry with myself because I didn't do anything to save my
best friend from her pain. On the last day at continuation
school, everyone gave me farewell presents. They gave me a
flower, a card, and a lot of other things. At last, Yoko gave me
the diary. It had the picture of pink roses on the cover, which
represents Yoko's smile. She told me not to forget her. I
promised her I would write many memories in the diary and that I
would not forget her.
On the first page of the diary, I wrote "'this diary is given
by Yoko." After I came back to Japan, I never forgot to write in
the diary and every time. I saw it, I remembered about Yoko.
Three months had passed since I left New York; Yoko called me
suddenly. She told me that she would take the entrance exam for a
Japanese high school. We made a promise to meet a month before
the entrance exam. I was so happy to hear that I could meet her
again. However, I could hardly recognize her when I saw her. She
had became so thin that I felt like she had only bones and skin.
I could feel her pain inside of her. However, her familiar smile
on her face made me relieved. She still had her nice and friendly
smile. We found out that we were taking the entrance exam of the
same school. We promised each other if we passed the exam, we
would go to the same school and be best friends again.
After a month, both of us passed the entrance exam, and we
found out that we could keep our promise. One day when we were
practicing for the graduation ceremony at my junior high school,
the teacher told me to go home fast. I couldn't understand the
reason why, but I went home as fast as I could. When I entered my
house, I saw my mother with red eyes. As soon as she saw my face,
she told me not to get shocked but that Yoko had died. At first,
I couldn't believe my ears. I talked to Yoko over the phone a
week before, and she was cheerful. I had never dreamed myself
that she would be dead. I went to the funeral with my mother on
that day. I still couldn't believe her death until I saw her
picture in the black frame. However, I was relieved because I saw
her familiar and beautiful smile in that picture. Inside of a
coffin, there was her pale but beautiful face. Beside her, I saw
the pillow which we went to buy together.
Her mother told me she was sorry that Yoko couldn't keep our
promise about going to school together. My face was covered with
tears, and I again asked myself why I couldn't save her from her
pain. I was angry with myself. However, her mother asked me to
please still be best friends with Yoko. I told her that even if
Yoko was not here, we were still friends in our heart.
On the day of Yoko's death, the diary reads: "I can't believe
she has died. But I have the memory of her in my heart. Our
friendships is forever. She is with me all the time and we are
always together." Every time I look at this page of the diary, I
think about Yoko. The diary teaches me that friendship is forever
and even if one of the friends is dead, the friendship will not
end. I know that her memory will not disappear because it's in my
heart. The memory and the friend are forever and ever.
by Kiyomi Handa
