There have always been wars, fights and struggles in our
human history. We know that fighting has been really awful
throughout history. Human beings have wasted lives, cultures,
energies and money. However, the fighting never stops. I've
really wondered why people haven't stopped it. Actually, it's
happening in Palestine, Yemen, Bosnia Herzegovina and in many
other places. I thought misunderstandings of each other's
feelings caused fights and race conflicts. If only we could
understand other people's feelings, I thought, the world would be
much more peaceful. However, I learned that this idea was really
optimistic. People fight anyway, even though they understand each
other perfectly.
I don't know when exactly it was, but my parents bought me a
stuffed white bear in my early days. There is an old picture
where I'm smiling with the bear. I remember that I named it
Kunkun and loved it very much. I wanted it to stay in my
arms for a long time. Although it's a little embarrassing to say,
I wasn't able to fall asleep well without it until I was grown
up. It was as snow-white as if it had snuck out of the
Arctic circle. But holding it in my arms for well over ten years
turned it dim gray. It was torn several times, and its nose and
eyes also came off, so it looked really shabby.
My mother had been kind enough to sew it up for me for the
first few years, but later, she hated it because of its
dirtiness. She bought me a new bear just like it, but I couldn't
change my feeling. How miserable the old bear looked. For me, it
was my sanctity and the only one. I really loved it and regarded
it as my treasure even though my sisters also loathed it. My
mother sometimes tried to persuade me to throw it away and love
the new one. Her words were rubbish for me because it was a very
important thing for me. I kept ignoring her. At last, I
tried not to let my family see it because they hated it so
much.
One morning I was too tired to put it out of their sight. I
usually put it on my bed, but somehow, I left it somewhere else
and went school. When I came back, I found my bear wasn't on my
bed. I didn't mind very much at that time because it wasn't
always necessarily on the bed. Wondering where my bear was, I
wasn't able to sleep well. I couldn't find my treasure the next
day, either. I became nervous and uneasy. I went back and forth
in search of my bear. I turned my quilt and blanket over and
over, but in vain. I finally gave up searching, and I
asked my mother if she knew where it was.
"Don't you know where my bear is, Mom? I haven't seen it for
two days."
She replied frankly, "Oh, I threw it away. I did it while you
were out because if you were home, you'd never let me do it."
I thought she was joking. "You must be kidding, mom. Where is
it?" I asked again.
"As I told you, I threw it away yesterday," she answered
happily.
I doubted my ears, but it was true. I was shocked! How can
Mother who should have understood me most in the world,
throw my treasure away without my permission?
"Unbelievable, Mom! How in the world could you do that!?" I
cried with anger.
She didn't seem to be sorry; rather, she was satisfied with
driving away what she hated to look at. I resented her, but at
the same time, I was very sad. Can you throw your friend's
treasure away? If you are aware that it is very valuable to your
friend, you never can. That means you understand your friend's
feeling and respect it. However, here I showed a sad example of
the truth that people sometimes do harmful things anyway. I
suppose she dared to throw my bear away because she wasn't able
to be tolerant of my feelings, and it wasn't because of
misunderstanding.
Even though we are both Japanese and share a common culture, I
learned through my mother's behavior it is very difficult to
respect somebody's feelings when it is nonsense for us.
Furthermore, if it's the case between different races, it would
be much more difficult.
I got very angry with my mother, but of course I didn't start
a war against her. However, when somebody loses his or her temper
by being hurt, it could change to hate, then start a war. In my
point of view this is one of the reasons why human beings keep
fighting.
I don't think it's easy to be generous to other people's
feelings, especially when we have different cultures. However in
the world today, we cannot ignore international relationships, so
we must try to comprehend their feelings. I know just saying this
is easy, but I experienced how sad and harmful it is not to have
my feeling respected, so I want to at least be tolerant of other
people's feelings.
by Tomoe Momose
