Human beings can make pictures. There are so many kinds of
pictures, we can't count them all, for instance, murals which
were painted in ancient times, and precious art works that are
kept in museums as a cultural heritage. Pictures influence people
and move my heart. I have been painting pictures for seven years,
and I learned what a "picture" is from my special painting tools.
They brought my heart to the emotional world from the ordinary
world.
When I was thirteen years old, a junior high student, I joined
the art club. I had liked drawing since I was a child, and then I
became attracted to oil painting, which I had never done. More
than anything else, I Red one art teacher and wanted him to teach
painting to me. He was really a good teacher. The first painting
tools I used were special to me, because he had used them when he
was in high school. He kindly brought me the tools from his
house.
Even though these tools were stained, they weren't dirty.
Rather the stains gave me an impression of time, and made the
tools mysterious things. After I received them, I worked hard to
paint many pictures. Whenever I took the black shaft of a brush
and let oils out on a palette, shining with a deep brown color, I
thought as if I were a professional painter and felt good. At
that time, however, I didn't understand what painting was at all.
No matter how well I painted pictures, and even if the pictures
gained prizes in exhibitions, my teacher wouldn't call the
pictures perfect.
As a result I was in an awkward dilemma about painting. It
changed from an interesting to a tedious job. Then the process of
painting, carefully observing objects, projecting the shape on a
canvas and coloring, was gradually becoming meaningless. Finally
I went to my teacher's room and consulted with him about my
trouble.
He said to me in a gentle voice, "Takeo, actually careful
observation is an important matter. But you can never make a good
picture in that way only. If you realize why, you will be able to
paint a better picture and be satisfied with your work."
I thought about this for a long time, but I couldn't
understand it easily. The painting tools were covered with dust
in the comer of my room. Half a year passed. I couldn't
understand the reason yet, so I stopped painting. One day I
decided to go to the art room in my school because I wanted to
give back the tools to my teacher. I didn't need them anymore.
After school, I took the paint box and went up the stairs.
Against the sunset, my black shadow grew long along the corridor.
When I reached the art room and touched the door, I found that
somebody was in the room. The moment I looked in through a
window, I was surprised.
There was my teacher alone, and he was painting a picture.
That was the first time I'd seen my teacher painting. The image
of him was quite different from usual. His gentle face had
changed to serious, and even I was strained too. And I was
shocked by the picture, my teacher's picture. As he put more
color on the canvas, the artistic work became more vivid and more
full of life. It didn't compare with my former pictures. I
suddenly noticed that I felt extremely ashamed and regretted that
I'd quit. "I want to paint pictures again!" I thought. I opened
the door and greeted my teacher, sat down behind him. I took my
half-finished picture, and opened the paint box, needing it
again.
When I grabbed a brush, mixed oil colors, and put color on the
canvas again, I felt everything was fresh. My brush became a part
of my fingers, and the palette was the large ground of my
imagination. Colors talked to me, and I asked the tools about
this picture. Even though all my senses were concentrated, it was
I who moved the brush naturally.
At that moment, I realized the reason. I found the way of
painting. Painting or making a picture is one way of expressing
what's inside the heart. That is a spiritual, emotional and
psychological thing. Every picture has the spirit of the artist.
On the contrary, a picture without spirit will not cause any
feelings in other people. Now I know it. The painting tools
taught it to me.
The tools changed my accurate mind, too. This is not the case
for art only. It applies to sports, music, literature and, in
short, human nature. Although this society needs accuracy or
preciseness, human beings also need an emotional, feeling way of
life. In Japan, JR trains arrive and leave correctly, schools and
companies start to work punctually, and TV news tells us the
state of the world exactly. We are all living in a systematic
material world, but we want to express own feelings and spirits.
Painting is one of the ways of expressing oneself I perceived the
fact in an emotional mind, which the tools brought me.
Now I still paint pictures sometimes. I enjoy painting more
than I used to. The painting tools work well, and have become my
precious possessions. The special experiment with the tools will
stay in my heart forever. After painting, I always remember my
teacher when I clean the painting tools.
by Takeo Yagi
