"Sincere communication is the most important thing to get
real friends," my uncle always said when he got drunk. My uncle
who lived next door was much older than my father was. Although
there were thirteen years difference, we could not feel a
generation gap between my father and his elder brother, because
my uncle looked so young and full of life. He loved alcoholic
drinks, horse racing, golf and especially talking with people.
When he saw us, he always spoke in easy English, because he knew
that we had lived in New York and Hong Kong. and spoke some
English.
That cheerful uncle had fought against cancer for about four
years. I knew he had been suffering from the disease for long,
but I was certain that he would recover. I could not notice the
seriousness of the matter until he died. Sad to say, he died at
the early age of sixty-five this January.
Many condolence cards came to his funeral. I noticed many
foreign people paying their last respects -- Koreans, Chinese,
American ... etc. It was difficult for me to understand that many
came from abroad. "Who are they?" I asked my cousin. My cousin
said, "Trading abroad was the main part of my father's job, so he
had many acquaintances with foreigners. As they met frequently,
they talked about various subjects besides their job. Probably,
they came to Japan just as they heard of his death. "All the way
from other countries?," I said to myself. I was very surprised
because I knew that my uncle was not fluent in foreign languages.
I imagined that he made many friends with his broken English, but
there must have been something other than just languages in
creating close relationships.
He had a mystic power of attracting people. Maybe it came from
his warm-heartedness. He always found personal current topics
that attracted each individual he was associating with. That
showed his consideration and interest for others. This was found
in my relationship with him. He valued personal relationships.
His association began with common language, but his personality
to get to know others wholeheartedly.
Now I understand, "Language is not the only way of
communication. " At the same time, I could notice the importance
of the real meaning of his words. I want to get his special
power. While thinking like that, and as I looked up at his
photograph, he smiled at me and said, "Don't forget! Sincere
communication..."
by Hiromi Ando
