If others ask me to retire my job, I will surely get angry.
In Japan, when a couple who each has a job decides to get
married, people ask the woman, "Will you quit your job?" The
woman thinks whether to quit or to continue, at least once. On
the other hand, people usually do not ask the man the same
question. Is this natural? Most people (including some
women) think that women should not continue to work after
marriage. I do not like this way of thinking. I believe instead
that we have to change the views of people in that women get jobs
and continue to work. The reason for my opinion comes from
several experiences.
I have many cousins and I am the youngest of all. When my
female cousin Tomoko was a third year student in high school, she
studied very hard. In her school, there are many students who try
to go to a famous university. She wanted to enter a high level
university as well. In this high school, almost all of the
students enjoy many school events. Especially, the sports
festival is a main event. They are mostly absorbed in this event.
Some concentrate on it, while others work on it as they study for
entrance exams. After she enjoyed it to the full, she was
studying very hard. In March, she succeeded in the entrance exam
of her first choice. She went to the university for four years
and tried to get a job. At last, she was employed in a big
company as a Sougoushoku (a worker who is the same as
general employee; the opposite is an Ippanshoku, who
works like a secretary, copying sheets and so on).
Tomoko said to her younger sister Noniko, who was a third
grader in high school, "You must study much harder, or you will
fall in entrance exams, I think."
This remark made her sister angry and led to her opposition.
Moreover, I was influenced by it. I tried to ask her mother: "How
long did Tomoko study for entrance exams?"
"I do not know well, but she spent about three hours a day
sleeping."
"I'm sure that her health would have broken down from
overwork," I said.
"Of course, we worried about her health," Tomoko's mother
replied, "but she continued to study."
Although I was twelve or thirteen years old, I thought, "Women
can study hard and work as much as men can. "I said to my mother,
"I want to become like her, and it is meaningful for others and
me.
My mother replied, "You have a chance. Do your best!" After
that, I tried to study so that I could become like her.
When about five years had gone since she started to work, she
got married to a boyfriend who she had dated since high school
age. His mother (what is called Shuutonie in Japanese) asked
Tomoko, "You will quit your job, won't you?" Both her husband and
his father worked for a city bank. This is why there was a
possibility for her husband to be transferred to a distant
region. In such a case, it is a big problem for a couple. But I
thought, "Why must they decide whether she will quit or continue
her job when they get married? It is impolite to ask a person to
resign from a job." I felt that her resignation cause a
disappearance of her ability. I did not want her to give up her
will.
At this time, she did not quit her job, but a baby was born a
few years after. Then the husband's mother and father said, "You
have to quit the job this time, because you must bring up your
baby." She had to resign from the company in the end. It was
against my expectation, and I felt sad. I thought as if I had
lost my purpose, too. "Must women give up their dream after all?
What do we live for? Is it impossible for women to work while
they are married?"
My mother has worked since she graduated from university. She
thought at first, "I will quit work when I get married." When she
married my father, her mother who lived with her said, "We don't
need two housewives at home. You had better continue to work." My
father agreed, too. A few years later, when a baby was born, my
mother decided to quit again. However, her mother said the same
thing as 'in the past. Till her mother died, according to my
memory she hardly did housework. When a children's event took
place, MY grandmother usually came to school. I never thought it
was strange, Roughly speaking, I maybe thought, "All parents work
outside." So I wondered, "Why are other mothers near their home
during the day?"
I had a question when we had visitors in our class. My family
talked over who would go to school on the day. Perhaps, my father
went to school more frequently than my mother did. She was busy
for work. I think it was difficult for her to be absent from work
for children. I took it for granted that my father went to
school. On the contrary, there were only a couple of fathers in
the class. I asked my friends: "Why don't your fathers come to
school?"
"Because my father has a job and usually my mother stays
home," one friend answered.
I found that my family was unique, but I could not understand
the reason for this specialty. When I was a junior-high student,
an invitation of an interview for my course was sent home. The
invitation said that a parent should come to school for the
interview. My mother said, "I can't go with you. I'm very sorry."
I replied to her, "I don't think you are bad. I think the
interview is important, but I can decide my course for myself I
don't mind." I think that a fixed idea caused her words. The idea
is "Education of children should be done by mothers." In Japan,
many people think that the women having a job and children are
the exceptions.
When I was twelve or thirteen years old, a salesman visited my
home in the evening. He said, "Is your mother staying at home
now?"
"She isn't here because of work," I answered.
"Oh, sorry. She has a part-time job, doesn't she?"
"No, she doesn't. She has a full-time job. So she always comes
home at night," I said, while I felt unpleasant. The reason for
my feeling is that the salesman thought women should have
part-time jobs. I do not mean a part-timer is inferior. I felt
sad because there was a man who thought women usually do not have
full-time jobs.
Recently, people say, as more women have their jobs, children
have decreased more and more. There are many reasons for this
phenomenon. Thanks to my grandmother, my mother did not have to
quit her job even when her children were very young. If it had
not been for my grandmother, my mother would have retired- her
job. In addition, my father and his mother allowed her to work.
It is very important. Now in Japan, if we are to stop the
children's decrease and to continue to work, we need a person to
help bring up children, and the people's appreciation of women's
opinions and situations. My mother has been working still now. I
have studied in this university so that I can get a job that I
want to work for.
To change the views of people, first, we must have an ability
to work sufficiently and make good use of it in the society. If
we succeed in our work, people may find that women can work more
than people think. Moreover, we had better keep on working!
Otherwise, people will think again, "Women don't work." It is
difficult to achieve the change, but I am sure that we can attain
our purposes.
by Eiko Hasegawa
