When I ask myself what a father is, I can not answer easily. I
think most Japanese fathers are like a manual. As children get
older, their relationship with their fathers gets weaker just
like our "relationship" with a new mobile phone manual. The
reason Japanese fathers have a weak relationship with their
children is due to a lack of conversation, social system and
stereotyped idea about child raising. To make it easier for
fathers to be "active fathers", we should change our fixed idea
about child raising little by little.
Recently, the relationship between father and children is
getting weak. I described father as a new handy phone manual
because it indicates weakness of relationship. When a child is
little the effect from father is very important to form the
child's identity. However, when a child gets older and can do
almost everything by itself, child needs father's help only when
there is trouble. Even when they do spend time together, the
content of the conversation is not so important. Lack of
conversation makes it difficult for Japanese fathers to be
successful fathers.
The Japanese social system also makes it very difficult for
father to raise children. There are fathers who can not
participate in childcare even though they wish to do so.
Unfortunately, many Japanese companies assign so much overtime
work that fathers can not spend time with their children. Even
though many companies have some kind of support like childcare
leave time (ikuji kyuka), actually there are the cases the
supports are not used well.
Many women still think childcare is their responsibility
though they want men to help it. Because traditionally, so many
people have fixed idea about raising children that it is
difficult to change this thinking. In the past, a lot of women
did not work outside home, however, now more and more women do.
Raising children alone is too hard for mothers who work inside
and outside home.
To improve today's childcare situation there are two things
that should be done by companies and us. Firstly, company should
consider more about the child raising duties of their workers so
that fathers can have more time with their children. Secondly, we
should change our stereotyped thinking which regards childcare as
mother's role. We must consider today's situation of child
raising again. Finally, I hope that father will become one's
favorite book instead of a manual.
by Tomomi Iida
References
Youth Affairs Administration. (1996). International
comparative survey relative to children and family reports.
Tokyo: Youth Affairs Administration Management and Coordination
Agency.
Shousika e no gutaiteki na torikumi wo motomeru [Finding
solution for the decline in the number of births]. (1999, May
19). Keizai dantai rengoukai [Online]. Available: http://www.keidanren.or.jp/japanese/policy/pol225.html
[1999. November 11]
